How to Discipline Your Vampire by Mina Vaughn

Author:Mina Vaughn [Vaughn, Mina]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781476743523
Google: Xq1nKX-qV4kC
Amazon: B00BS9GY02
Publisher: Pocket Star
Published: 2013-08-18T23:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Cerise

“I think we went through your entire toy box last night,” William chuckled while stirring the blueberry waffle batter.

I took a long, satisfying swig of my fresh-squeezed orange juice and looked at him levelly. “And broke seventy-five percent of my apparatuses,” I joked sternly. “I’m going to need to know about all the ins and outs of this vampire stuff if I want to keep my collection intact.”

He spun and refilled my glass. “I’ve already placed a replacement order online. Should be arriving by this afternoon,” he said perfunctorily. Always timely and practical, this one. “And I’ll tell you everything you need to know about my kind. Just . . . not all at once, if you don’t mind.”

“Thank you,” I spoke quietly. And meant it. “Sit with me?” I asked.

He pulled the last steaming waffle from the iron and brought it to me smoothly. “Of course,” he said, pulling out the maple syrup and butter before sitting. Still naked.

“So, give me the SparkNotes version of how to date a vampire.”

He grunted. “Just don’t run for the hills.”

“So, is otherworldly stamina part of your vampire repertoire of tricks?” I asked after swallowing a bite of blueberry-studded heaven.

William laughed, and I smiled at the sound. Otherworldly indeed—how did I ever question it? He could never pass for an ordinary human.

“Yes, Mistress, and I’m going to have to compliment you for keeping up with me. Clearly you go to the gym, or run marathons or something,” he said with a grin.

“Oh sure. I’ve run triathlons, climbed Everest in my skivvies, and am able to fuck vampires for hours on end. That’s how I roll.”

“Maybe we could do a mountain-climbing scene, if that’s how you’ll be dressed. I’m sure all the ropes associated with hiking gear would certainly be advantageous.”

“So, how is it you’re able to come to my house during the day? Sunlight and all?”

He scratched his neck. “It doesn’t kill us—we’re allergic to it.”

“Allergic?”

He pointed to where he had scratched. “If we’re in the sun too long, it gives us a rash. It’s like eczema.”

I buried my face in my hands. “That’s the nerdiest thing I have ever heard.”

He shrugged. “It’s not very cool, but it’s better than being lit on fire every time I leave the house. In fact, pretty much ninety-nine percent of vampire myths aren’t true. We’re just very durable blood drinkers, not magical bat-people, although we do have enhanced sensory abilities.”

“What’s going to happen when I have my . . . visitor?” I asked, cringing.

He paused. “You have regular houseguests?”

“My period.”

William laughed. “Let’s just say it’s a good thing you only get it four times a year.”

“Seasonique, the preferred birth control choice of vampires and their lovers.”

He covered his face with his hands and stifled a laugh. “Any more questions?”

“Is Harvey a vampire? Is that how he makes such wonderful clothes—he just taps into his vampire skill set?”

William shook his head. “No, he’s a human. My niece and her husband are vampires, but we have human friends,” he explained.

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